19 Time Heals All by Lunde Justice

The story that I am going to tell is a personal one and is not something that I talk about freely. This is a story of true forgiveness of oneself.

When I was a kid, about 6 years old, we were moving into a new house, and my father told me to take my brother over the corrals and play with the calves until it was time to leave.

So, I took my toddler brother and started my way over to the corrals. Around the halfway point, my brother pulled away from me and said, “No, I don’t want to go”. I kept going and didn’t look back. As I reached the gate, I saw my dad coming out of the house and knew it was time to head home for the night. This is where my nightmare began.

I watched my dad pull forward about 10 feet and then stop. To this day I can still hear that blood curdling scream, and that was when I realized what had just happened. My father had run my 3-year-old brother over with his truck and horse trailer. The rest of the night was something that you watch on TV or read in a book. All I can remember is all the blood and the thought that I had just watched my dad kill my brother.

After being air lifted to Idaho Falls, my brother spent the next 6 months in a coma where he fought for his life. This situation is something I have lived with for the last 30 yrs and still to this day have a hard time forgiving myself for. I say that because in my mind, if I had done what my dad had told me, this tragic event wouldn’t have happened. I know that I was only 6 years old, but in my mind, I could have prevented it, and I felt guilty for so long.

But like they say, time heals all, and I have come to find this adage to be true. Over the years, I have been able to forgive myself because how can a young child hold himself accountable for something that he didn’t know might happen?

Thankfully, my brother made a full recovery and has since gone on and become a United States Marine. His latest accomplishment is becoming a Sheriff’s Deputy.

While this is a story from my past that I do not often share with people, it serves as a perfect example of how one can forgive oneself and move past something terrible that has taken place.